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Demos II

by Cookin' with Grandma

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1.
I'm an impostor, an homage, as good as it gets. and I feel for your problems, my eyes they get wet. We're both on our way out of the same situation, you say you know, you're in the same situation, I think they're jealous of my sane situation with no place to stay and with no occupation. When we both close our eyes, we see the same damn thing and it's not worth mentioning so when we both close our eyes, we see the same damn thing and it's not worth mentioning. We are kings, queens, aces and thieves I'm a jack of all trades, you say I should leave We are water, earth, wind and the fire, so lower the bar, and raise me up higher We are kings, queens, aces and thieves I'm a jack of all trades, you say I should leave We are water, earth, wind and the fire, so lower the bar, and raise me up higher Now go! I'm a Xerox, a copy, a bland imitation, screaming to the world about his fucked up limitations, I'lll go as far as this tank of gas gets me, screaming to the end that you're the only one who gets me so when we close our eyes at night and i mean really close our eyes at night so when we close our eyes all tight and i mean really close our eyes all tight We see a bunch of little dots, we think we all have meaning we are a bunch of little dots we think we all have meaning we are the dots of the dots of the dots of the dots We are kings, queens, aces and thieves I'm a jack of all trades, you say I should leave We are water, earth, wind and the fire, so lower the bar, and raise me up higher We are kings, queens, aces and thieves I'm a jack of all trades, you say I should leave We are water, earth, wind and the fire, so lower the bar, and raise me up higher Now go!
2.
Hold On 02:51
You left me broken You left me shattered in a million pieces You left me barely holding on So I tried my hardest to let go All the pills I swallowed, and all the beer that I let flow Curse my self destruction and all the info that I now know I know that I can't drive a station wagon I know I can't feel safe going to a show I know your birthday still I know what to drink when I'm trying to forget you It went from months to weeks to days I wish that something stayed the same I wish I stopped seeing your name I wish I could hold on So hold on, hold on let me catch my breath hold on, hold on are you tired of this yet? Hold on, hold Please don't hang up Hold on, hold on Please give a fuck So hold on, hold on let me catch my breath hold on, hold on are you tired of this yet? Hold on, hold Please don't hang up Hold on, hold on Please give a fuck Spend most of my days now shedding tears Involuntary movements I can't control Become convinced I'm set up for failure, Success is just another thing I can't hold And I can't hold it in I need catharsis and I can't live like this If I can't find home if home is where the heart is Tell myself that it gets better Tell myself that it gets easier to make it through the days, when I can't make it through the days So hold on, hold on let me catch my breath hold on, hold on are you tired of this yet? Hold on, hold Please don't hang up Hold on, hold on Please give a fuck So hold on, hold on let me catch my breath hold on, hold on are you tired of this yet? Hold on, hold Please don't hang up Hold on, hold on Please give a fuck
3.
Remember when in 11th grade, my best friend told me that I'd fall in love with you? And I became oh so certain it would become true. Remember all the moves that we watched and all the people that we scorned all the big dreams that we had of all the movies that I'd score and all the films that you'd direct all the dreams that I had when I was young They now seem dumb I just want to be alive And I'm so so proud of you And I'm sorry for everything I put you through And I'm so so proud of you And I'm sorry for everything I put you through And I'm sorry And I miss you And I'm sorry And I miss you And I'm sorry When your house felt like a second home and walking home at 3 AM Stopping my first suicide attempt frantic skype calls on the net From 9th grade pool parties, to me being fool hardy to you, changing schools, to me, growing up a bit, and you, moving houses, and me, shutting down a bit and you, getting your first real job, and me, being put on new drugs And I'm so so proud of you And I'm sorry for everything I put you through And I'm so so proud of you And I'm sorry for everything I put you through And I'm sorry And I miss you And I'm sorry And I miss you And I'm sorry
4.
In the middle of the forest where I saved you from your death your father tells me he no longer holds interest in your life I say I love you in the darkness and you will save me from this darkness I feel a chill caught in my bones as I tell you to leave me I WILL BE REBORN FOR YOU SOUND OF RUSHING WATER COMING THROUGH I WILL BE REBORN FOR YOU SOUND OF RUSHING WATER COMING THROUGH now you're gone far from our home and It cut like scissors when I asked to be alone BUT NOW YOURE GONE YOURE FAR FROM HOME AND IT CUT LIKE SCISSORS WHEN I ASKED TO BE ALONE You promised her you'd stay with her forever so now you gotta promise me that you will stay with me forever no matter how I've looked and no matter how I've changed no matter who I've killed no matter who I left no matter who I've loved no matter who is left you hide from people and then you say it's because you look different I must be the only human here to know that you're a coward I WILL BE REBORN FOR YOU SOUND OF RUSHING WATER COMING THROUGH I WILL BE REBORN FOR YOU SOUND OF RUSHING WATER COMING THROUGH BUT NOW YOURE GONE YOURE FAR FROM HOME AND IT CUT LIKE SCISSORS WHEN I ASKED TO BE ALONE BUT NOW YOURE GONE YOURE FAR FROM HOME AND IT CUT LIKE SCISSORS WHEN I ASKED TO BE ALONE he owes you nothing I owed you nothing just the same but you came in with that heart and you looked at me like you knew I hadn't changed he owes you nothing I owed you nothing just the same but you came in with that heart and you looked at me like you knew I hadn't changed
5.
Get Lost 02:34
break up get lost find God start over when you break my heart find someone to pick up the pieces find peace with yourself for causing this pain in me, nothing helps nothing stops it nothing stops just because You want it to I wanted you to stay I wanted you to say you were coming back back and forth and back and forth break up get lost find God start over when you break my heart tell me that it's hard for you it's so hard to do but I think that I need space and an astronaut from space could have seen my heart collapse and burst into a thousand different colours shining bright against the night sky I feel like Ralph wiggum with Lisa simpsons if the cameras were rolling you could pinpoint the moment my heart it broke
6.
She says she loved me., missed me, head back, just like she meant it All the things you said to me were the things that turned out to be lies and all the lies you said to me were the lies that turned out to be destructive I just want to feel like me again I just want to feel complete again I just want to feel something more than anything I just want to feel something more than anything She says You never really meant that much to me and all those sad songs, man they suck to me You never really meant that much to me and all those sad songs, man they suck to me with her face turned, hair down, hands out and eyes averted she keeps on believing that nothing ever happened here and I keep on refusing that nothing ever happened here I just want to feel like me again I just want to feel complete again I just want to feel something more than anything I just want to feel something more than anything She says You never really meant that much to me and all those sad songs, man they suck to me You never really meant that much to me and all those sad songs, man they suck to me
7.
I just can't take this any longer I am off then I'm on then I'm off then I'm on you are right then you are wrong then you are right then you are wrong then you're holding yourself back you say I have one hell of a mind but I can't seem to keep all my shit on track I'm holding myself back on the good days I can keep from destroying everything around me and everyone around me they say man you look normal you don't look so good I think you need help what the fuck is your problem I'm tired I'm tired but I just can't sleep I'm hungry I'm hungry but I just won't eat and I'm so sorry for what I just said I've got these thoughts I can't keep out of my head and I would be lying if I told you that I never had the thought to throw all my meds away or take them all at once and make the best of the worst situation This is the worst situation and everyone they tell me man you look normal you don't look so good I think you need help what the fuck is your problem I'm tired I'm tired but I just can't sleep I'm hungry I'm hungry but I just won't eat and I'm so sorry for what I just said I've got these thoughts I can't keep out of my head
8.
she says this felt like a dream but it's more like a nightmare fist fights and swear words you swore you would fight fair I asked my mother to come and pick me up you degenerate psycho you sick little fuck I hope that you found just what you wanted cause it's clearly not me I'm clearly not wanted I'm clearly not welcome I'm clearly not safe you're clearly not in a space where you should be dating I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting and all of my friends they mean the world to me bc Alberta the south I've got a lot to see you've got a lot of work to put into yourself I put a lot of work into trying to help but there are some truths that you won't want to hear and they won't come from me I won't live in fear any longer I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting I should not be waiting
9.
texts and Tumblr messages screenshots saved in documents I remember when all it would take would be a piece of ribbon and how I miss those days oh how I miss those days flip phones and empty houses house shows and empty beer cans I remember bedspreads spreading spread my love all over when it's over anime gifs are moving bus stops are getting scary I am so frightened by the dark who'll finally shine some light upon me texts and Tumblr messages screenshots saved in documents I remember when all it would take would be a piece of ribbon and how I miss those days oh how I miss those days I have so many problems I was never trained to deal with heartbreak scared of when the sun comes up and lying to my parents all of this seems like a game but it's a game that I am losing I remember Facebook conversations I remember late night texts and sexual frustration I remember late night bus rides getting lost - no destination I remember so fucking god damn much I'm sorry I won't forget you texts and Tumblr messages screenshots saved in documents I remember when all it would take would be a piece of ribbon and how I miss those days oh how I miss those days
10.
Winter 03:03
I am so fucking broke how will I ever get you or wed you, as I want and what you want it's so expensive she says I love you more than I would care to say to anyone except my best friends, that's in secret you're my best friends, that's no secret we couldn't be kept down by obstacles or by me or by the crushing feeling of loneliness that slowly took control of your whole being I'll hop on the next plane out of town half heartedly and sleepy hope that God will strike this aircraft down I'll write more letters on my way make more playlists you won't play write a list of buzz words like I love you and I missed you but I won't mean them when I say this is the best Christmas ever I'm so alone I can't keep it together I love how small this city makes me feel convince myself that this is real I am so fucking Broke this restaurant is the death of me I miss the days of vomiting in the bathroom and never answering your questions how could you do this to me can't you see that I'm in pain so shout my name break some things do it in public do it in public you may not love this now but you'll grow up to be a person you hate dissatisfied with life destroy the ones you like or have them destroy you I'll hop on the next plane out of town half heartedly and sleepy hope that God will strike this aircraft down I'll write more letters on my way make more playlists you won't play write a list of buzz words like I love you and I missed you but I won't mean them when I say this is the best Christmas ever I'm so alone I can't keep it together I love how small this city makes me feel convince myself that this is real
11.
I can see you like pretentious people so I'm going to try harder just for you you want a man with a strong conviction so in going to do absolutely everything we said we'd wanna do id throw stones off the end of the world if I knew it could get you back with me I wish I could sit in the dark without you and be exactly who you wanted me to be we said we'd travel the globe. be our own life partners you were all I ever needed as I spat on top of the alter. talk to me about stupid things when I'm drunk, so your gonna have to talk a lot keep comments in pockets about how i think you're hot and all of friends agree agree agree with me too many of your friends agree with me. when my parents kick me out I can come stay at your house and you me and your mom can just hang out and do card tricks. but then you thought you found someone better. YOU KEPT YOUR PICTURES I KEPT MY SCARS YOU CAN MOVE FAST BUT I CAN MOVE FAR. YOU KEPT YOUR PICTURES I KEPT MY SCARS YOU CAN MOVE FAST BUT I CAN MOVE FAR. and I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away from you. and I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away from you. YOU KEPT YOUR PICTURES I KEPT MY SCARS YOU CAN MOVE FAST BUT I CAN MOVE FAR. YOU KEPT YOUR PICTURES I KEPT MY SCARS YOU CAN MOVE FAST BUT I CAN MOVE FAR. and I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away from you. and I'm going to go away. I'm going to go away from you.
12.
Fuck, You 02:48
SHE SAYS I I HATE YOU SO SO MUCH ANS THE WAY THAT YOU ACT YOU KNOW YOUR SO SO FUCKED AND YOU KNOW THAT I AM TOUCHED I AM SO SO TOUCHED CAUSE YOURE THINKING ABOUT ME SO DAMN MUCH you can tell all your friends that I treated you so poorly you can send me an email after and you can ask me how I'm doing well I'm doing pretty rough my life is kind of gucked and I have moved to greener pastures and you ask just what I mean and now you know just what I mean I AM MOVING RIGHT ON PAST YOU you can sue me you can shoot me you can throw me down a cliff you can expect that I act how I act if you keep acting like an asshole and ask all your assholeish friends if this is the end when you're telling your family you feel lonely and dead and they ask what I said to make you feel alone and I'm done trying to ask I've enough shit on my onnnn and I have got enough shit on my own I've got bills to pay and towns to see and shows to play and people to meet and songs to write and songs to sing and wrongs to right and game, to bring and life to love and things to own and to rise above and strings to drone and times to share and fines to avoid and teeth to bare and more fines to avoid I've got food to eat and I need to sleep and I need to eat and I need to sleep and she says I hate you
13.
this ring on my finger slowly means less and less. I went from wearing it every day now I can't remember where I left it you were the best thing that ever happened to me, but you happened so fast you were the first and the last you were the silence before the blast you were applause and the snaps you were the fight before the cast you are a scar on my thigh and you are barely getting by you are so fed up with trying you are the reason I'm still alive you were the first and the last you are the future and my past you are the applause and the snaps you are the party before the crash you were so much to me so much to do, so much to see there's so much experience to have you were all of the good and all of the bad
14.
Please fall asleep so I can take pictures of you and hang them in my room so when I wake up feel like yeah everything's alright You are still here, you are still happy, you are still smiling and laughing you are still the only thing and everything I need in my life And it goes in in out through the mouth - breathing exercises I will never figure out til I am running in circles or (I am) walking in circles or (I am) crawling in circles or lying on the ground And I can hear your dog whistle from my bedroom Yeah yeah And I can see a flashlight cutting up the trees behind my house Yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah She's says a lot of the kids we graduated with are now homeless which puts them in mad shady situations with mad shady people if not everyday then on an every other day basis And she's probably with a few of them right now and they are probably just drinking and talking about how she misses getting fucked up and hanging around And he says "Hey you're good at that" and she says "Thanks, it's kind of all I got," and then she looks away and says "It's also all I need." And I can smell plastic burning I can smell chemicals breaking down. I got your last three e-mails the ones where you said, "I was sorting some things out" And he will be able to hear her dog whistle from his bedroom Yeah yeah And I can see a flashlight cutting up the trees behind my house Yeah yeah And I will read the flashing like a morse code explanation that will mean nothing but take all night to figure out, out, out... (Please fall asleep so I can take pictures of you and hang them in my room so when I wake up feel like yeah everything's alright) when I am sad, I am sad - but when I'm happy, oh god I'm happy there's just no place in-between for us to meet (You are still here, you are still happy, you are still smiling and laughing you are still the only thing and everything I need in my life) when I am sad, I am sad - but when I'm happy, oh god I am happy there's just no place in-between for us to meet (Please fall asleep so I can take pictures of you and hang them in my room so when I wake up feel like yeah everything is alright) when I am sad, oh god I'm sad - but when I'm happy, I am happy there's just no place in-between for us to meet (You are still here, you are still happy, you are still smiling and laughing you are still the only thing and everything I need in my life) when I am sad, oh god I am sad - but when I'm happy, I am happy and there's just no place in-between for us to meet

about

A series of demos and unreleased songs that have been kicking around.

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released December 1, 2015

Everything - Robbie Hynes

Cookin' with Grandma is Robbie Hynes and Ryan Hoppe

Thanks to everyone who helped with group vocals

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Cookin' with Grandma Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

Sad Bullshit

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