Cookin' with Grandma

by Cookin' with Grandma

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madeline It makes me feel like a teen in the early-mid-2000's and that's really all I want to be so this album is awesome. Favorite track: Longest Night.
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credits

released July 10, 2015

Robbie Hynes - Vocals / Guitar
Ryan Hoppe - Drums / Vocals

Engineered by Robbie Hynes @ PAVED Arts / Workhorse Audio / Hope Fellowship Church
Additional engineering by Brett Lindsay
Additional vocals by Brett Lindsay, Keegan Rohovich, Elizabeth Plishka, Adam Swalm, Sabrina Materie, Shea Goyer, and the students of RAIS term 8
Track 10 engineered by the students of RAIS term 8

Mixed and Mastered by Robbie Hynes
All Songs written by Robbie Hynes and Cookin' with Grandma

Cover art by Blair Colwell

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Cookin' with Grandma Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

Sad Bullshit

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Track Name: Time Hortons
In a Tim Hortons bathroom,
my bruised knuckles feel more like your psyche,
and it's likely this hot chocolate will burn my tongue
and I know just how hard it is to watch me destroy myself.

And I order nothing.
I can't afford to treat you right
I order nothing
You should be angry, you probably might be
I order nothing
I can't afford to treat you right
I order nothing
We'll both be done by the end of the night

woah...
I hope something in this parking lot will hit me
So please dip, talk shit with lip, and then just ask why you got with me
I have never understood your sayings
Rip a box of Timbits limb from limb,
hope it acts like a voodoo doll
Who can i call?

And i order nothing
I can't afford to treat you right
You should be angry, you probably might be
I order nothing
I can't afford to treat you right
I order nothing
We'll both be done by the end of the night

Hey...

She says
"I find it irresistible, the way you break me
and take me from myself.
So take me away.
Pop me in the back seat of a cab,
put me on a bus up north,
or book me a flight out east,
and pray that I don't think that's fucked."

And i order nothing
I can't afford to treat you right
You should be angry, you probably might be
I order nothing
I can't afford to treat you right
I order nothing
We'll both be done by the end of the night

Hey...
Track Name: Summer
I have a lot of things I'd like to say
with regards to our current situation
My demeanour's sensitive when it can be,
and I don't want to be a lot of things that I am.

But in the basement, we sit on the couch,
and talk about our friends and how they would freak out
if they found out that we were dating
but now you're freaked out,
and we're not waiting for the subway,
or at a bus stop.
Why can't it just stop?
Oh please god let it stop.

She is sitting me down
She's playing those same four chords
I'm crying my eyes out
I hope you're crying out yours
Rebrand your losses as defeats
And glow untouchable as you stand before me.

Your friends tell me they know what I did
and they are watching me,
And they know who I'm with.
I am sorry.
I'm not the same kid I was back in school.
I have finally changed.
But in the back room, the back room, the bathroom, the McDonalds on Louise
I am vomiting up your love notes
I am spewing up all you left me
And it stings
And it's in my eyes
And it Stings
And it's in my eyes
You were so right
I am dangerous.
I am so fucking dangerous.
I am going to destroy myself.

She is sitting me down
She's playing those same four chords
I'm crying my eyes out
I hope you're crying out yours
Rebrand your losses as defeats
And glow untouchable as you stand before me.
Track Name: ... And She Loves Me
She's said she hates me about 80 times so far.
And i'm trying to hold on now but it is getting pretty hard.

When she looks at me nice,
it calls back to old photographs
When she treated me nice,
when we toured around Europe

But now the pictures are kept with her mother, her mother,
When she gets drunk, she's angry, she threatens to burn them
I did not ask for this treatment, this treatment
I tried to find help, I am trying.

She says I'm thinking too much,
And I'm pissing her off.
She's starting to scream,
She will call the cops.
And they'll put me in cuffs,
Then I won't look so tough.

And no one believes me,
when she says that she'll leave me
She says "Look at that door
I could just up and fucking leave me"
Look at that door
She should just up and fucking leave me

I am not a number
I am not a political dispute
I am just trying to stay afloat despite these feelings of being used.
I am not a number
I am my own person
I have my own thoughts, they are so far from worthless
She makes me brave, then she makes me back down.
She makes me brave, then she makes me back down.
She makes me brave, then she breaks me back down.
She makes me brave, then she breaks me back down.

She says I'm thinking too much,
And I'm pissing her off.
She's starting to scream,
She will call the cops.
And they'll put me in cuffs,
Then I won't look so tough.

And no one believes me,
when she says that she'll leave me
She says "Look at that door
I could just up and fucking leave me"
Look at that door
She should just up and fucking leave me

It's like short term memory loss
I don't know what I'm thinking.
She knows what she's thinking.
It's like short term memory loss.

when she says that she'll leave me
She says "Look at that door
I could just up and fucking leave me"
Look at that door
She should just up and fucking leave me
Track Name: Brackets
I am back staring at windows slackjawed,
telling you to your face that nothing has changed.
The date has been arranged,
but nothing in this universe is pre-determined
and you are determined to tell me the rest of this story so please do not mind if I fall asleep on your kneecaps.
Just tell the next one down "He's not as cool as he acts"
But you are better than that and I know it

Electrical impulses are telling me what to do with my life.
I can't control them, I can't seem to do anything right.

I am back staring at windows slackjawed,
telling you to your face that nothing has changed.
The date has been arranged,
but nothing in this universe is pre-determined
and you are determined to tell me the rest of this story so please do not mind if I fall asleep right beside you.
Just tell the next one down you'd already decided you were better than that and you knew it.

Electrical impulses are telling me what to do with my life.
I can't control them, I can't seem to do anything right.
Track Name: You Are Driving Me Insane (But You Don't Have Your Licence)
I love how well I know you
and how my exes would get jealous
so embellish the truth
I'll make you exactly as important as you should be

In my basement you tell me that you think you're going to fall in love,
and I've been in line so long, and my heart is aching, and I've been picking at my fingernails for long long time.
I've been waiting for a long long time.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

You are my peach
You are my plum
You are the reason I regret having ever had fun with another girl
At another time
If I played my cards right, then you could have been mine.

At your party I tell you just how much I hate being sober.
You tell me how much you hate this fucking party.
Let's blow this whole thing off.
Let's smoke in your garage
And talk about the good times that we've had,
and how your boyfriend makes me mad.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

You are my peach
You are my plum
You are the reason I regret having ever had fun with another girl
At another time
If I played my cards right, then you could have been mine

Woah woah woah

But you weren't there for that
You weren't there to see
When all your friends grabbed all the planets and put them up in orbit around me

No you stayed home that night,
in the bottom bunk
and you waited for your mom to leave and then you got really really drunk.

Woah woah woah

You are my peach
You are my plum
You are the reason I regret having ever had fun with another girl
At another time
If I played my cards right, then you could have been mine
Track Name: Drunk Texting II (Drunk Texting Is The Way To My Heart Like A Tricycle Is The Way To California)
She says
"This feels like a dream, and it's a dream that I've had
'Cause my head feels so nice, and I want you so bad
and the snow, it is falling, it is falling so fast.
And the thoughts in my mind say this could probably last"

And I can't help but wonder what was already said
whether they think I'm alive
or if they know I am dead.
I try my hardest to spell it out clear,
to use big, big words to say I'm no longer here like,
"I have left" or, "I am gone"
you can pick up your things from the front of the lawn.
I'm headed down the drain, yeah I'm coming down the sink
And she's texting me now 'cause she's had enough to drink to say,
"God I love you" "God I need you"
"Please come home, I swear I'll be your re-do"
She can handle no like I can handle her
and she just won't accept that my hand's not with hers
and I'm back in the basement, in the middle of winter.
It's a cold cold night, and I'll feel so much better.
She's holding me now, and my head's on her shoulder.
and we're both half asleep, and the night will get colder
So we'll need someone close - we'll need someone warm.
We'll need someone to fit with our owns body's form.
She says she's thought of this since the day that we met.
She says that today is a day she will not regret.

She says
"This feels like a dream, and it's a dream that I've had
'Cause my head feels so nice, and I want you so bad
and the snow, it is falling, it is falling so fast.
And the thoughts in my mind say this could probably last"
Track Name: Fortune Telling
She says "Your heart must be so damn cold"
She says her job is getting boring and the work is getting old.
She says a lot of shit when she's half asleep
She asks just what I want her to mean to me, and what I mean to her, and well...

"You are fun.
You are not boredom
you are not backwards, but you are not moving forward.
I am Stagnant like I was back in November.
What was the first thing I thought about you? I can't remember"

She says -
"This is going to cost me if you're going to boss me around
This is going to cost me if you're going to boss me around
This is going to cost me if you're going to boss me around
This is going to cost me if you're going to boss me around
If you're going to tell me what to do, then it's going to change my point of view, and it's going to say 'God I hate you'"

"I am so lonesome I could cry.
I don't know how I would ever get by if you left, or if you told me you were leaving. Are you leaving?
I swear to god I would kill myself
I swear to god I would end it all right here
So just hold me close, hold me close,
Please god hold me close...

But I don't think you like my art.
It's not a big deal for you, but it's a big deal for me.
This isn't a big deal for you, but this is a big deal for me"

She says -
"This is going to cost me if you're going to stay hanging around
This is going to cost me if you're going to stay hanging around
This is going to cost me if you're going to stay hanging around
This is going to cost me, it's going to cost me, it's going to cause me a lot of grief"
Track Name: My Muscles Are Well Defined, My Feelings For You Are Not
The word of the day is Failure
Definition: It's someone who just keeps doing you wrong
And I just keep doing you wrong.

The word of the day is Failure
Definition: It's someone who just keeps doing you wrong
And I just keep doing you wrong.

The word of the day is Failure
Definition: It's someone who just keeps doing you wrong
And I just keep doing you wrong.

The word of the day is Failure
Definition: It's someone who just keeps doing you wrong
And I just keep doing you wrong.

Everyday that I spend awake past 3 AM is a day that I think you'll do it.
Take all my barriers and break through 'em
Everyday that I spend awake past 3 AM is a day that I think you'll do it.
Take all my barriers and break through 'em

Sit on my couch for a few good hours
Take all your photos, burn ours
Silent treatment is still a treatment.
So pour some vodka on the flesh wounds of my psyche.
Why can't you just say that you don't like me?

1 2 3 4

All of my friends think I need more friends because she's tired of going to parties alone, where she knows no one else will go
All of my friends think I need more friends because she's tired of going to parties alone, where she knows no one else will go
She goes where no one else will go
She goes where no one else will go
She goes where no one else will go
When she says that she thinks that she could love me.

Everyday that I spend awake past 3 AM is a day that I think you'll do it.
Take all my barriers and break through 'em
Everyday that I spend awake past 3 AM is a day that I think you'll do it.
Take all my barriers and break through 'em

Sit on my couch for a few good hours
Take all your photos, burn ours
Silent treatment is still a treatment.
So pour some vodka on the flesh wounds of my psyche.
Why can't you just say that you don't like me?
Track Name: Drunk Texting III (I Love Girls Who Love Talking About Loving Wine. Your Habit Is Affecting My Life)
2014 I'm so glad to be alive
All of last year I managed not to freeze to death
Stacks of notebooks with lists inside
Poems I wrote for you, performed once, and then I burned the pages.
This is ageless
Timeless deconstruction of the self
I need your help
I need you to show up at my new years party
Party Hearty, hardly sardines caught up on the shelf
This is cultural exchange.
This is the epicentre of where we will not change

So drink, drink, drink til the last drop.
Drink until I talk to you, then drink until I stop
Oh Drink until a momentous occasion -
Drink until I say I'm staying

Oh Girl oh Girl
Gonna build a pirate ship, the passengers will be you and me
Oh Girl oh Girl
Gonna build a pirate ship, the passengers will be you and me
Oh Girl oh Girl
Gonna build a pirate ship, the passengers will be you and me
Oh Girl oh Girl
When we build our brand new pirate ship and sail it off into the sea where I can't swim
And that's news to you

Patterns patterns patterns follow suit
Remain enamoured with everything I do
I will plead, I will beg, I will tie this plastic bag around my head
I will head off for the sunset with this boulevard between us.
Overtake it using four-wheel drive.
Leave the city and you feel so alive
And I feel so lonely when I'm trying to sleep
'cause you're out with some people and you're trying to keep
all your feelings from me
now they're drowning, that's good.
no you're drowning, that's good.

So drink, drink, drink 'til I ask you to stop
Drink with your friends until they ask you to talk about me, me
and then make them laugh.
Drink until you can't get me back.

Oh Girl oh Girl
Gonna build a pirate ship, the passengers will be you and me
Oh Girl oh Girl
Gonna build a pirate ship, the passengers will be you and me
Oh Girl oh Girl
Gonna build a pirate ship, the passengers will be you and me
Oh Girl oh Girl
Track Name: Longest Night
There are holes in your story,
there are holes in my jeans
There are holes in your gene pool
and I'm hoping you freeze

You could use to be a little colder,
there's gold on my shoulders.
The older and older I get I say this more and more
"I knew the cost before"
you are the one who amasses no debt
you are the one who amasses no debt

I will sleep tonight
You will sleep tonight
She will clamber to you
you are damned, you too
I will sleep tonight and it will be the longest night
in a long long list of nights without you.

There are holes in your story,
there are holes in my jeans
There are holes in your gene pool
and I'm hoping you freeze

You could use to be a little colder,
there's gold on my shoulders.
The older and older I get I say this more and more
"I knew the cost before"
you are the one who amasses no debt
you are the one who amasses no debt

I will sleep tonight
You will sleep tonight
She will clamber to you
you are damned, you too
I will sleep tonight and it will be the longest night
in a long long list of nights without you.

There are holes in your story I'm just playing along 'til I catch you in the act or you say that you're wrong for me.
There's no use apologizing.
There's no truce, now I am riding the last train out of this town.
You said you wouldn't let me go down.
You said you wouldn't let me down.
She said she wouldn't let you down.

I will sleep tonight
You will sleep tonight
She will clamber to you
you are damned, you too

I will sleep tonight and it will be the longest night

I will sleep tonight and it will be the longest night

I will sleep tonight and it will be the longest night

I will sleep tonight and it will be the longest night

I will sleep tonight and it will be the longest night
in a long long list of nights without you.